(NOTE: Inspired by a journal about past events, does NOT reflect the present.)
ANOTHER NOTE: This series includes quite a bit of Spirit talking. And what I call “Spirit” refers to an inner voice, a higher voice, the Universe, my guides, something inside of me and beyond me. It is not a ghost.
I feel like I am drowning.
I cannot do this
I cannot do this
I cannot do this
It is unfair, and I cannot do this
There is too much being asked of me, and I cannot do this
I CANNOT DO THIS
But I am meditating, tears rolling down my cheeks, and I hear Spirit:
“On the other side is beauty, on the other side is radiance, on the other side is joy and freedom unimaginable. If you could only see the bliss just on the other side, you would delight in this moment. You are getting everything you want, trust, stay the course, you will emerge from this a diamond. This pain, it will be worth it. That is our promise to you. It will be absolutely, wholly worth it. It is not for you to understand in this moment, but you will see in time. You will see. TRUST.”
“If you could only see the bliss just on the other side, you would delight in this moment.”
I repeat this to myself over and over, I write this in my journal, it becomes my flicker of light in the following days, weeks, months of darkness. I had no idea what the bliss would be. I had no idea what the journey to the other side would feel like, nor how long it would take, but I knew I was to find trust and keep finding trust. So I made that my mission. These words kept me moving forward.
