(NOTE: Written about an experience in the past, does NOT reflect the present.)
Life continued, we healed, Girl became a memory, and that was that.
Bwahahahahahaha, just kidding.
Girl cut us off, but not completely. After licking our wounds for a bit, and telling ourselves fantastical stories of how she was forced to banish us and how we could tell she didn’t really want to, we began to gently re-enter her orbit. We continued with our wayward mission of unconditional love and support, and felt like we were making a little headway, like she was opening up again, like we were making a difference.
During this time we told ourselves many a grand tale:
“I think it made her day that we showed up.”
“I think she felt really special on her birthday because of us.”
“I think she knows we care, and is trying to silently tell us she cares too.”
“I think it means something that we remember every detail of what she is up to”
“I think she wanted to say something to us, but caught herself and walked away.”
“I think she has not exited our group chat because she is still keeping a door open.”
“I think the lyrics of this playlist are secret messages about how she still cares.”
It was not the most dignified, rational time. And maybe some of those things were true, or maybe it was just all poppycock, because we really wanted to still be special to her since she was still so special to us.
It went on like this for a while until Girlfriend accidentally offended Girl, which elicited a giant reaction that felt grossly disproportionate to the offense. Like throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at someone’s head, and them responding by running a sword through your gut. Or pointing out to your boss that their son is sometimes not very nice to you (because he isn’t), and your boss responding by firing you and pushing your car off a cliff. There was no physical violence or property damage, but emotionally it FELT like that. It was quite shocking, actually. We were at a complete loss for words. And as you know well, I have a lot of words in me.
After that we distanced ourselves, because it seemed smart. Like a wise technique for self-preservation.
YET (And you might be going “Seriously, you two? Have you no self-respect?” I know. I know.) after a couple of months of radio silence, we crept out to have one more experience with her that started out promising, ended poorly, grew significantly worse over the next week, and finally, at long last, the final bits of our rose-colored glasses vanished and we realized it was time to let her go. For real. And it was, at last, the end.
